do or do not... there is no "try"

it's come to my attention that i'm hecka fat!!! haha not that i'm super self-conscious or anything. but man, at this rate, i'mma die at like 50. but i also know that i was created in an image and likeness that i'm not holding up to... and that with excessive amounts of unhealthy foods and beverages, i'm defiling the body that has been given to me as a gift. i need to make a change in the way i live my life. i've gotta take better care of myself, not only for myself, but for whoever i'm gonna marry in the future (if that's what i'm called to do).

i'm not talking about "dieting." i'm talking about making real changes... difficult changes. just thinking about these changes makes me wanna stop typing and hit cancel. but something hit me at mass the other night

Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly,
and whoever sows bountifully will also reap bountifully.
Each must do as already determined, without sadness or compulsion

(2 Corinthians 9:6-7)

it's largely my choice whether i become diabetic, hypertensive, or chronically ill. i can't necessarily influence how or at what age i die, but i can make sure that i'm living right until that day. so i'm going back to blogging about what and when i eat. from experience, i can eat as much as i want as long as the food i'm eating is nutritious. back when i was fitter, this was what i ate:

meat and vegetables
seeds and nuts
some fruit
little starch
no sugar

rice. rice is my weakness. ulam without rice is usually so strong-tasting. but you know what? i did without it before - because i chose to... because i was made to be stronger than compulsion. the next line in that passage says "God is able to make every grace abundant for you" (2 Corinthians 9:8). i've been wanting to do this for so long, but i've been hesitant because i don't wanna do it alone. but i'm not really alone. i have to be mentally and spiritually strong in order to reach my physical goals.

my biggest physical goal will be reached when i can fit into my old size 38 jeans... comfortably. no dumps hanging out. no bj asking me "are you wearing shorts under that?" haha. i will reach my goal by my birthday, december 16. this year, i'm giving myself a birthday present: more birthdays to come. haha. as of right now, saturday and sunday are my designated "cheat days." by the end of the month, sundays are reserved for cheating.

as long as we're talking about rules, i'll get into specifics of what to watch out for
-rice (gotta cut down in baby steps because it's so deeply programmed into my brain)
-alcoholic beverages (i definitely don't need that beer with my burger... even though it tastes so good)
-buns (no buns--->hot buns. hahaha just kidding)
-soda, candy, sweeteners, high-fructose corn syrup (i don't do most of those anyway, but HFCS is in everything these days!)
-processed foods, junk with msg especially.

i'm adding
-daily readings/reflection (gotta get the mind right first)
-more greens (spinach for sure!!!)
-daily pushups and air squats (corresponding to the day of the month. next month, it's two-a-day pushups and squats... pushups are my weakness. squats will just make me get to my goal faster. haha)
-hoop!
-jump rope... hopefully double-unders for days
-weights
-yogurt, cottage cheese (especially at night. gotta have peaches or strawberries too)
-interval running (i'mma be doing hella 40s... but not the mickey's or old english kind)
-multi vitamin
-conjugated linoleic acid (never tried it when i was doing crossfit, but i hear it's good for you)

i was gonna do omega 3, but there's a bunch of stuff saying it has possible links to prostate cancer. with my family history... yeah. haha... no. glucosamine? i hope i'm not that old. hahaha. but maybe.

oh, and sleep? i'mma get my 8-10 hours because that does a lot of good for the body (even though i feel like you waste time sleeping!) with that, good night. i begin 8/12/2011... when i wake up. haha